Learning Curve

Question 12: What have you learned about depression over the past 2 years?

Answer:

You know, people who try to “figure out” depression and/or anxiety in other people are amusing. They try so hard to reduce it to one type of behaviour, or one type of “feeling” as if it “feels” the same to everyone; or as if everyone who is going through it, is going through it at the same intensity and/or the same pace.

I know that very often we say “it doesn’t just go away” and naturally people want to know “well how do we help you make it go away?” Thing is, sometimes it is difficult to even explain or or pinpoint what exactly “it” is. That something that continues to bring you down. And it is not like you are not actively trying to confront it, overcome it, or at the very least, run away from it. But “it” is always there. Lingering.

And in that time, it is so easy to feel like what you’re going through is being undermined, as if you’re trying to be trendy via a mental illness. Then you choose to keep it in to avoid being ridiculed or belittled (because that would just intensify it) and what do you know? That lingering feeling starts to grow, and it continues to grow until you break. NOW everyone is concerned. Well then.

Even as a depressed person, you won’t always understand what the next depressed person is going through. Different triggers. The least we can do is [try to] look after one another.

xo

Advertisements

Think & Feel

Question 7: Favourite comfort food? Why?

Answer:

Ice-cream – Happiness in a cup, tub, cone… allof!

KFC – I’m black, what more is there to explain?

Question 8: What is your favourite childhood memory?

Answer:

Any roadtrip that we took as a family, when I was younger.

Question 9: Do you think self-love is important and why?

Answer:

I think self-love is a vital part of survival. It is too easy for self-love to deteriorate when you feel like other aspects of your life are falling apart. Be your own hype guy!

xo

Annoying Much?

Question 6: What are your 5 pet peeves?

Answer:

I have far too many pet peeves to only choose 5 of them so here we go –

  • Everything men do.
  • When people don’t close the door behind them.
  • Unkempt fingernails and toenails.
  • When a person doesn’t say “please” and “thank you”
  • When a person disrespects a waiter, cleaner, retail employee or helper/nanny.
  • A dirty bathroom and/or kitchen.
  • When people don’t cover their mouths when they cough or sneeze.
  • When people sniff aggressively and then they make that awful noise with their throats.
  • When people use keys to pick out their earwax.
  • When women wear gladiator sandals over their long skinny jeans.
  • Spelling errors.
  • When people don’t throw their trash away at takeout restaurants.

 

xo

Triggers

Question 5: Have you identified your stress & depression triggers? How do you manage it?

Answer:

Yes, I have. Well, I have more of anxiety and mood triggers than depression triggers of late. The trigger for these two is usually stress or fear. I take my medication as prescribed and I make sure that I feel everything in its entirety until the feeling subsides. I usually withdraw from people in this time.

xo

Cheer Up

Question 3: Something that never fails to make you feel better?

Answer:

M-O-N-E-Y!

Food is a close second (KFC in particular).

Question 4: A month you were the happiest this year (2016)? What happened?

Answer:

NOVEMBER ๐Ÿ™‚ November was the month of blessings. November was the month everything started falling into place. November showed me the light. November gave me hope ๐Ÿ™‚ Also, I got a new job.

xo

My Personality

Question 2: Name 3 things you like about your personality and why?

Answer:

This one was a little bit tricky but here goes …

  • I am very self-aware. I can almost always identify what is going on with me and why. I like it because it sort of gives me a starting point as to how to overcome it, and where to seek help if I need it.
  • This one is a bit of a love/hate one but I like the way I love people who are close to my heart. It is always rooted in pure intentions and there are few things I wouldn’t do to see them happy (often beyond my means). Of course, some humans (men in particular) take advantage of this side of me so I am not as open to showing it as I used to be but hey, you live and you learn.
  • I am getting better at identifying enemies of progress. Some people would love nothing more than to see you live a stagnant life, or worse, to see you crumble and fall apart. Only because it makes them feel better about where they are in their lives, enemies of progress will never believe that you can be great. In order to ensure that I am not triggered or held back in any way, I cut such people out of my life before things can get any worse for my peace of mind.

 

xo

Happy Song

Question 1: A song that makes you happy and why?

Answer:

Currently, it’s a toss up between “Better When I’m Dancing” by Meghan Trainor and “Lucky” by Jason Mraz (featuring Colbie Caillat).

“Better When I’m Dancing” reminds me of my little sister, because it was the main theme song in her school play. I had a proud big sister moment sitting in the second row and watching how confident she was on stage, especially for such a tiny person. I forgot everything in that moment. Happiness truly filled my heart.

As for “Lucky”… well anyone who knows me or follows me on Twitter, knows how cynical I am about men and relationships. Men have cooties and relationships are too much work to achieve the amount of reward one would like to achieve, without risking it all, just for it to end up being temporary (because one day he’s going to do some unacceptable stuff which will leave you back at square one with the trust issues). HOWEVER (I am about to be really boring), sometimes a part of me hopes for a love that is as simple as the love in the song “Lucky”. Just two, carefree best friends sharing a life filled with special adventures that create unique memories.

Phew! That was gross. I’m still a thug.

xo