Question 16: Biggest accomplishment this year (2016)?
I didn’t give up on myself and I am where I am: in a much better space than I have ever been. I’ve had multiple moments when I truly wanted to end it all, but somehow I persevered, and to me, that is my biggest accomplishment of 2016.
Question 17: What is a self-love tip that keeps you going?
I should treat myself the way I want other people to treat me, and therefore I should always look out for myself first, because I have to be okay before I can be anything to anyone else.
Question 18: What fills you up with love?
Besides food, I really don’t know. I have been quite numb to love lately.
Question 12: What have you learned about depression over the past 2 years?
You know, people who try to “figure out” depression and/or anxiety in other people are amusing. They try so hard to reduce it to one type of behaviour, or one type of “feeling” as if it “feels” the same to everyone; or as if everyone who is going through it, is going through it at the same intensity and/or the same pace.
I know that very often we say “it doesn’t just go away” and naturally people want to know “well how do we help you make it go away?” Thing is, sometimes it is difficult to even explain or or pinpoint what exactly “it” is. That something that continues to bring you down. And it is not like you are not actively trying to confront it, overcome it, or at the very least, run away from it. But “it” is always there. Lingering.
And in that time, it is so easy to feel like what you’re going through is being undermined, as if you’re trying to be trendy via a mental illness. Then you choose to keep it in to avoid being ridiculed or belittled (because that would just intensify it) and what do you know? That lingering feeling starts to grow, and it continues to grow until you break. NOW everyone is concerned. Well then.
Even as a depressed person, you won’t always understand what the next depressed person is going through. Different triggers. The least we can do is [try to] look after one another.