Question 16: Biggest accomplishment this year (2016)?
I didn’t give up on myself and I am where I am: in a much better space than I have ever been. I’ve had multiple moments when I truly wanted to end it all, but somehow I persevered, and to me, that is my biggest accomplishment of 2016.
Question 17: What is a self-love tip that keeps you going?
I should treat myself the way I want other people to treat me, and therefore I should always look out for myself first, because I have to be okay before I can be anything to anyone else.
Question 18: What fills you up with love?
Besides food, I really don’t know. I have been quite numb to love lately.
Question 2: Name 3 things you like about your personality and why?
This one was a little bit tricky but here goes …
- I am very self-aware. I can almost always identify what is going on with me and why. I like it because it sort of gives me a starting point as to how to overcome it, and where to seek help if I need it.
- This one is a bit of a love/hate one but I like the way I love people who are close to my heart. It is always rooted in pure intentions and there are few things I wouldn’t do to see them happy (often beyond my means). Of course, some humans (men in particular) take advantage of this side of me so I am not as open to showing it as I used to be but hey, you live and you learn.
- I am getting better at identifying enemies of progress. Some people would love nothing more than to see you live a stagnant life, or worse, to see you crumble and fall apart. Only because it makes them feel better about where they are in their lives, enemies of progress will never believe that you can be great. In order to ensure that I am not triggered or held back in any way, I cut such people out of my life before things can get any worse for my peace of mind.
Question 1: A song that makes you happy and why?
Currently, it’s a toss up between “Better When I’m Dancing” by Meghan Trainor and “Lucky” by Jason Mraz (featuring Colbie Caillat).
“Better When I’m Dancing” reminds me of my little sister, because it was the main theme song in her school play. I had a proud big sister moment sitting in the second row and watching how confident she was on stage, especially for such a tiny person. I forgot everything in that moment. Happiness truly filled my heart.
As for “Lucky”… well anyone who knows me or follows me on Twitter, knows how cynical I am about men and relationships. Men have cooties and relationships are too much work to achieve the amount of reward one would like to achieve, without risking it all, just for it to end up being temporary (because one day he’s going to do some unacceptable stuff which will leave you back at square one with the trust issues). HOWEVER (I am about to be really boring), sometimes a part of me hopes for a love that is as simple as the love in the song “Lucky”. Just two, carefree best friends sharing a life filled with special adventures that create unique memories.
Phew! That was gross. I’m still a thug.
“I’ve stopped being sorry for all my soft. I won’t apologize because I miss you, or because I said it, or because I text you first, or again. I think everyone spends too much time trying to close themselves off. I don’t want to be cool or indifferent, I want to be honest. If I love you at 5AM, I’d damn well rather that you know I felt it. If I love you two hours later, I’ll tell you then too. Listen, I won’t wait double the time it takes for you to text me back because I don’t want to. I don’t care enough to be patient with you. I’m happy, you made me feel that way, don’t you want to know? So that’s how it’s going to be. I’m going to leave myself as open as a church door. And I’m going to wake you up before the crack of dawn to tell you that I’m fucking joyful, no pretending, not from me, not ever. Would you like some coffee, would you please kiss me? Here, these are my hands, this is my mouth, it is all yours.”
~ Azra T. “Don’t Wait Three Days to Text First”